Two running jokes

There are three running jokes in my office; first, there we make constant reference to me not doing anything. When I walk out the door to lunch, I'm always asking someone to hold all my calls. I've beaten that one to death on this blog so I won't cover it here.

The second joke is one that still gets me. It may not translate well to those who haven't traveled much, but it goes like this. Around the base there are tons and tons of rocks. There are countless large boulders all over the place. I can't tell you what they are for (if you've ever been to a government building, you might be able to figure out what they are for), but they are everywhere. Well, someone is selling the Air Force rocks. Lots and lots of rocks. Essentially something that was of no value all of a sudden became valuable. The joke goes like this and is best told with a Middle Eastern accent: 'Muhammad, the Americans are here'.

'The American's?' Muhammad replies.

'Yes, and they want to buy rocks.' Al Bin Ali states.

'Rocks??? They don't want our priceless rugs or hand made jewelery?' Muhammad Questions.

'No, they want rocks. Many, Many rocks.' Ali Bin Ali answers.

'Rocks?' Muhammad asks again.

'Rocks'. Ali bin Ali replies. 'Rocks'.

Muhammad begins to dance around the room, clapping his hands thanking Ala for this glorious day.

The scene moves to Muhhamad and Ali talking to Ameircans.

'Please come in, we have many rocks. Very nice rocks, polished with no bugs.' Muhhamad says to the Americans. 'See, no polished, no rocks'.

It probably doesn't translate well, but if you've ever been to a developing countries market, it's something like that.

The second joke is much easier and translates very simply. Not one they guy's use in mixed company, but I'll share it anyways.

On the door of hangar two, on the way to the flight line, where you'd board a plane to leave Al Udeid, there is some graffiti that reads: 'Poof! You are ugly again'.

Patience

I've always been the worst guy to be behind in a check out line. Not because I'm going to write a check or ask the clerk for directions to the airport. Because, the guy in front of me is going to do that. If there are four lines of equal length, I will find the line that is the slowest, without fail.

All those years of suffering has prepared me for the last 90 days or so. I've intentionally not bashed my office mates here on my blog, but it's growing ever more difficult. At this point, I have nothing positive to say about the Army and that is being extremely kind.

Aside from that, things are well. I start my last masters course after the 4th, I'm stronger then I've been since high school and I'm getting to know Doha pretty well. Things could be worse.

BMI be damned

I'm weighing in at about 230 lbs. I haven't been this heavy since my senior year in high school. Which, was probably the best shape of my life. But, the Body Mass Index, is telling me that I'm 'overweight'. Interesting formula they use, but completely useless as a specific assessment tool. According to this, I was in better shape 2 months ago simply by being 20lbs lighter even though I can lift considerably more weight and perform more pull ups then before.

It will probably prevent me from ever breaking 90 on the PT test, but I'm ok with that at this point.

Memorial Day

Just spent the last hour writing about how getting thanked on Memorial Day makes me uncomfortable, but I'm not ready to share that yet.

Occasionally, I'll be given the chance to say a few words. Usually its after a promotion or when I'm about to PCS. It's very simple and I always say the same thing. It goes something like this:

There is a reason I keep doing the what I do. It's not about money. I have friends who make all kinds of it that offer nothing that I don't. It's not about the Red White Blue either. If we talked about politics for 10 minutes, you'd probably call Senator McCarthy. Its all about the people I work with. Military members take care of each other unlike any other place you'll ever work. They'll mow your lawn, move your furniture, loan you their car and watch your dog without out so much as a second thought. I'm not talking about people you've know for years, but people you haven't even met yet.